The first of four visitors got here yesterday (she's staying with someone else so we just had dinner and may or may not see each other again) and the second arrived this morning. There was a bit of panic as we couldn't find each other but that's sorted. Sent her off to Trafalager Square, Covent Garden and to do the London Eye, while I sit here and try to negotiate class and work. Then we'll go pick up the third, and tomorrow my parents are coming in.

I know I'll feel better in a bit, once I get to relax with my friends and parents. Right now I'm trying to focus.

It's gotten to that point where I wonder if I can actually do this. School, I mean. If I wouldn't be better off taking a semester or a year and pulling myself together. Sorting my meds, getting a steady therapist. I feel so lost and out of control. I know my work this semester has been incredibly sub-standard and I'm not even sure I'll get credit for some of my classes. 

I need to stop doing freelance work so that I have time and energy for school work. But when I do, I get stressed out about not having money. So I sign up for freelance work, and then it's just a vicious cycle. I guess I'll talk about it with my parents. I'm off to do some essay research.

From: [identity profile]

*snugs* I hope you find some balance. Enjoy your visits. I hope the talk with your parents goes well. *more snugs*

From: [identity profile]

Did, if you're feeling overwhelmed and need to take a gap year, take a gap year. You don't need to meet any standards of 'this is what I should be doing' or 'this is stuff I should be able to cope with' you do what's best for you, decided by you, and don't feel guilty about putting your own needs before the things you think should be more important. School will be there when you decide to return to it, you can even study part-time if that's what works best for you and how you manage your time, health and other resources. You don't have to be super-human, and anything that causes more stress than joy is not worth it. Find your own pace and sort your life around what works best for you, trying to force yourself to do too much will only result in stress, misery and poor health, and you deserve better than that from life. Dropping your studies or whatever you decide to do might feel like quitting or failing or something, but it's NOT. You're what, 19? 20? All things being well you have another 80 years to do all the things on your life 'To Do' list, you can choose what order you do them in and at what pace. They need to teach this is schools, it would save a heck of a lot of young adults from self-combusting.



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