( Nov. 3rd, 2011 10:29 am)
Swing: Up!

I had an appointment with my therapist and by mutual agreement we decided that I would stop my weekly appointments. This decision is, in part, because I feel like I'm in a good place right now and have everything under control and also because I know the University Counseling center is understaffed and overbooked. I don't need appointments as much as some of my friends do. I have good coping techniques, am intelligent, kind, and generous (therapists words, not mine!) so I should be alright and I can always make an appointment if I feel the desire to do so.

That appointment was at 8am, which seemed ridiculously early, but I'm glad I started my day out that way. Two of my classes got cancelled today, leaving me a bunch of free time until my Anth class this afternoon. I'm using that time to catch up on LJ, novel, plan out my paper, and generally relax. I feel really satisfied with how things are going and it was nice to hear that my therapist has confidence in me. It was just- very validating.

Here's to a good day! Hope everyone else is having a good one as well! *hugs you all*
( Oct. 23rd, 2011 01:27 pm)
Not to be a Debbie Downer--- but seriously. 

Though I've been getting 8-9 hours of sleep a night, I am still exhausted every day-- must remember to get multivitamins at some point today got multivitamins, maybe my iron is low again?-- and on Friday I had a moment of what my mother says sounds like sleep deprivation. I had plans for going home, doing laundry, eating, and making apple chips. When I got there my roommate was loudly skyping a friend and doing dishes so I just- left.

I went to the plaza in the middle of campus and sat down on a bench in the semi-cold, sort of stunned and unable to think. I was sad and lonely and emotional and unable to process things. I texted a few people to see if I could go hide with anyone and eventually a friend called me, talked me through getting dinner, and then rescued me, taking me to her dorm and then along with her to Midsummer rehearsals. It was just-- weird.

I'm going to try to make an appointment for student health to see if they can give me a sleep aid, because I just can't function well anymore and I desperately need to be able to. I have a paper due tomorrow, an extra shift at the library, and paper-work like things to sort out, including declaring my major and talking to the study abroad people. I still wanna do NaNoWriMo (as I found three other people on campus who are doing it; three people I know and like!) but the state I'm in, I just can't.

Going to see Othello tonight (which should be good, assuming I can make it through awake). Goals for today: write paper, nap, get to play. Wish me luck, guys?

Also, my shoulders are so tense right now, omg. I can hear Grace yelling at me. Speaking of, I need to email her too. Auuuugh.
( Sep. 21st, 2011 09:48 pm)
Today was just as busy and draining as I expected it to be. Nothing went catastrophically wrong, and I even managed to make it to the bank, but I am just too tired to feel much more than relieved. I have a German test tomorrow, first thing in the morning, augh.

Classes went well (all four of them), double majoring shouldn't cause any problems, though I might not have time for a minor, training at the library went an hour longer than expected but was relatively simple. I work next Tuesday and next Friday (a total of 6 hours next week, not bad at all). Hearing Toni Morrison speak was awesome, though I haven't actually read any of her books. I should probably do that.

In other news, my plans for seeing Much Ado About Nothing fell through as I didn't reserve tickets early enough. Don't know what I'll do now. :/ Not worrying about it too much, but just a little disappointed.

My brain is dead right now though. Going to bed asap as soon as I finish my Anthropology homework.
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( Sep. 18th, 2011 07:43 pm)
Status update: sick. I finally went to student health on Friday, after waking up at three in the morning and being unable to sleep for several hours. Have a sinus infection/cold/congestion issue, lost my voice briefly and am coughing a load. Woo. Follow up appointment Monday to see if anti-biotics are necessary.

So, doctor appointment tomorrow, counseling appointment Tuesday, and academic advising appointment Wednesday. Plus, Toni Morrison is coming to speak at our auditorium and I get to go see her Wednesday!

After my lack of success cooking the other day, I decided to make a bunch of things I know I can do well! So yesterday consisted of browning hamburger to put in chili to take to the potluck my friends were having, making teriyaki chicken to have as leftovers this coming week, baking more strawberry muffins, and making mushroom and barley stuffed squash. Delicious! :D So now I have lots of leftovers, some of which are in the fridge, so that I can eat well over the next week. So many dishes to do! Hooray!


in other news: I have 50 pages of my Cultural Anthropology textbook to read for Tuesday. Bahhh, better get on that!
( Sep. 13th, 2011 01:18 pm)
Guess who's employed at the university library?! If you guessed someone other than me that was kind of silly. :D This is a giant relief, as this is the job I wanted the most. I've cancelled my tutoring interview (though I may still volunteer through the program). I have some paperwork to do and then I can start. I'll be doing administration support and maintanence for the printers and computers. Not glamorous, but it pays and it's close!

I got your package [livejournal.com profile] theotherdibbler! Thanks so much! Just when I thought my day couldn't get better, I got mail and books, and a lovely pretty card. :D

Cancelled the upcoming sessions with the first psych. Apparently that wasn't a free consultation, but an actual session by her records so I'm super glad that I cancelled, because I didn't get anything out of that first one.

So now: dishes, German homework, Socioculture Anth, and then paper writing!

Called the University Counseling Center and set an appointment for next Tuesday. They did the consulatation over the phone and essentially I just babbled for a couple of minutes while the woman on the other end asked occasional questions to clarify. Now my only question is if I should cancel my upcoming appointment with the other psych, or wait and see if I take to this one before I do so. I'm kind of leaning toward cancelling now.

I also made an appointment with my academic advisor to talk about my major(s)! So that's happening next week as well. I have yoga class tonight (first time, due to various circumstances) so it will be interesting to see how that goes. My first paper is due on Wednesday for my Shakespeare class- I have to pick the sonnet we studied that I would most like to be dedicated to me. It's kind of an interesting assignment. I haven't started yet. >.<

Also, I've had the music from Disney's Hercules stuck in my head alllllll day.
( Sep. 8th, 2011 04:01 pm)
Despite my being overwhelmed four days ago, I'm feeling pretty good about how things are progressing. I had three classes today, and have two tomorrow (the week slows down as it ends. Tomorrow is a BioAnth lab and Irish lit). Tonight is the first film for the new Disney Movie club, which was created by some of my friends and we're watching Lion King. I'm rather excited for that.

Also, thanks (I like to think) to my efforts advertising at the Student Org fair, on Tuesday at Scrabble club we had SIX boards going. Six! That's four or five more than we usually have on the average Tuesday night! I'm thrilled! I hope the turnout is similar for Quidditch on Saturday.

In the meantime I'm experiencing some anxiety about my appointment with a therapist tomorrow. She seems nice-- as far as I can tell from our brief email exchanges and her website-- but I just. You know. Meeting new people, going new places, confronting my fears, my anxiety and the parts about my mind I don't like and am not sure I can change? It's scary. I'm scared. I'm also annoyed that I'm scared- that I get so nervous about an experience like this, which I signed up for, which I could stop at any time. It's that vulnerability of saying that I'm going and the shame (?) that comes with announcing I have issues that I need help working out. Maybe it's not shame. Maybe I'm just afraid that seeing her will actually make my issues seem more real. Because I've been dealing all my life under the pretense that I was fine and now-- I'm nervous about going to someone whose job it is to tell me that I'm not, really. Even if they also tell me how I can improve myself.

So-- cue conflicted feelings and nervousness. It's just a consultation (idk what the difference between that and a session is, but we'll see, I guess) and I will most definitely be posting more about it later on.
( Mar. 12th, 2011 04:52 pm)
I've been largely absent for the past couple of weeks and probably won't reliably return until next week. I'm going to spend some time catching up on comments and my f-list today, but in the coming week I'll be participating full time in a service project. Hopefully it will be fun.

In my absence: my parents visited, I had two job interviews, was invited to share an apartment with a friend over the summer, failed a logic test, aced two archaeology tests, offered fiction for the New Zealand Auction here -- the bidding ends for that on Sunday if anyone's interested; I've worked a bit on the "Airport" story that made an appearance in this meme, begun anonymously filling a Torchwood/Sherlock prompt on the [livejournal.com profile] shkinkmeme  here (which is going a lot faster than the previously mentioned story, in all truth), and have failed to begin writing the three archaeology papers that will be due in the next month.

I also bought bus tickets to NYC for a day trip with a few of my friends in April, and took over more serious responsibilities for Scrabble Club and am in charge of advertising for our tournament. I made cookies for my roommate's birthday and found a neat chocolate-cake-in-a-mug recipe to try out, and discovered this adorable video of baby red pandas. I went to the zoo and saw two theater productions, 12 Angry Men and Laughter on the 23rd Floor, which were fabulous, plus the film Unknown, which was not as good as it could have been.

So, um, I've been a bit busy. :D

Today is a dull day, because Alternative Breaks doesn't start until tomorrow and now that it's spring break there's approximately no one on campus, the dining hall is closed and the bus is running on a slower schedule. Not to mention the vending machine ate my money and told me I couldn't have a soda. But I finally have the time to respond to everybody's entries, so hooray! Right after I go raid another dorm's vending machine...
( Feb. 11th, 2011 12:23 am)
Now that my school!writing has been gotten out of the way I'm a healthy ~600 words into the first of four projects I'd like to see finished sometime soonish. I haven't finished my auction things, but I am working on them a bit every day so they're coming along nicely. I'll get pics up once they're finished. Aside from that I need to learn four chapters of logic before the test on Tuesday. I think I get most of it, but just in case I have a fabulous study buddy.

Having no Valentines plans for myself, I have committed myself to a 5 movie long chick flick marathon with a friend of mine and her roommates, as well as helping my friend's boyfriend surprise her. Woohoo!

In other news, I've made a wonderful new friend- someone who knew about Firefly without me introducing her, loves Shakespeare, and is a Sherlock Holmes nerd- that I've been introducing to Doctor Who. She's recently been devastated by the loss of the ninth Doctor. I helped console her by agreeing to watch The Twelfth Night. It was suitably hilarious and wonderful.

So yeah... yay for Friday!

OH! And thanks for the gift [livejournal.com profile] theskimblishone ! I'm thrilled and excited!
( Feb. 2nd, 2011 05:49 pm)
Our first non-reading assignment in Creative Writing is to write a 10 page short story. The only other requirements (discounting formatting stuff) are that it can't be "genre fiction" and should instead aim to be "literature".

I hope you notice my use of quotation marks there because what it boils down to is that he wants us to write something which is, in my opinion, boring. He defined the genre of literature as that which is focused upon language and character development that does not rely on plot or circumstance.

Frankly, I find it to be a frustrating assignment. I find that stories are interesting because of what happens in them and characters are deep because of the way they react to the circumstances they are in and because of what they do. This is, primarily, why I've never really come to understand or enjoy most short stories that are deemed "literature." These are the things that make the stories compelling, that make them interesting and entertaining.

I hate assignments like this because they produce amateur bullshit, as inexperienced writers try to make big statements about the world or provide social commentary with stories in which nothing happens. I also hate them because they make me feel like I'm saying the rest of my writing isn't "real" writing and doesn't matter because it's not "literature."

I dunno what I'm gonna do for this guys. :/
Augh. Snow, power outages, a lack of warm food, and the loss of my best only water bottle have all joined forces to make today suck. It's actually the trend of the week, to be honest. Sickness, fainting spells, and getting stuck places and missing things. Pf. I would like it to be the weekend.

Good things: 

I've decided to rush Phi Sigma Pi, which is the co-ed academic fraternity on campus. I missed the first rush event yesterday (which was a meet the brothers sort of thing) because of the weather, but tonight we're making valentines for veterans which I think is adorable and wonderful. I'd really like to become a part of this organization. I've been working to change my attitude recently, because I have a rather inhibiting lack of confidence in myself that hinges on the fact that I don't think very much of myself. So I'm working on that, in general, and because without a better sense of self-worth I don't think I'll be invited to join Phi Sigma Pi.

I've been in contact with the three winners who bid on crochet creatures over at the Queensland Flood Auction. This means I have a fair bit of required crocheting in my future, but I'm pretty excited about it.

I'm making decent headway on the things I'm supposed to be writing, by which I mean I have three deadlines I am aware of and have actually been working on things ahead of time.

A friend of mine put me in contact with an organization called Women for Women International, at which she volunteers and occasional works as a temp. I've emailed them to see if I can get involved as well. She said they're looking for summer and spring interns and I'm still looking for a job.

One class next week has been canceled to give us the chance of attending some of the writer conference events. Unfortunately, it's flanked by two classes I really need to attend, but I still really appreciate the gesture.
( Jan. 12th, 2011 10:55 pm)
So technically today was only my second day of classes, but a lot of things have happened. I had to drop Genetics because of prerequisites that I haven't taken, but which were not on the course's description page. I also ended up dropping Public Communication- I've heard that all the professors go about it differently, but mine was a) not a good speaker herself, b) focused on making us all communication majors and c) guiding the class entirely toward politics and public policy, which I am not interested in. Perhaps I'll try and take the course sometime in the future, with a different professor.

classes and crazy random happenstances )

Well guys, that's all I've got for the moment. Hope everyone is doing okay!
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( Oct. 25th, 2010 03:16 pm)
I'm having a bad day, so I'm going to post about everything that's gone wrong and then put it under a cut and focus upon the good, in the hopes that this will help me get over things.

7 things that made today bad )

Good things! Let's talk about good things.

This weekend was good. My roommate went out of town, and I got out and met some people. I went to the science fair on the mall with a friend of mine, meeting her other friends (who were interesting to be sure. Their method of getting to know people involves mostly interrogation: Where are you from, what are you studying, what do you do in your free time, what's your favorite book/movie/food, do you have any allergies, what's your family like? I'm not even exaggerating, but it was amusing, at least). Also I went shopping in Georgetown and found a store called Second Time Around. It's a consignment shop, and at first everything seemed really expensive, but I walked out with three shirts and a pair of jeans for about $33. A good deal! I also gave in and bought How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack from Barnes & Noble, and it has proved hilarious.

As for my costume- I'm going as a dragon this Halloween. I'm three fourths of the way done with the wings (have the fabric and the frame finished, just need to get straps for them, and I have the rest of the outfit planned out (though I still need to work on painting the tail on the jeans). I'm pretty excited, because it's been cheap and isn't too terribly dorky, and I can feel pretty and sexy without dressing up like a slut. Woo!

Also, I'd been putting off making an appointment with my academic adviser (for no particular reason) and I finally got that scheduled today. Plus, I'm meeting with Catherine tomorrow! So hooray! AND THERE'S MORE: Upon seeing my fb status one of my suite-mates (the nice one. >.< ) immediately invited me over to her room for a cupcake. :)

And I've been meaning to share for several days, for you Sherlock lovers- my birth control is produced by Watson Labs. It says so on every pill and it kind of makes my day.
( Sep. 16th, 2010 11:12 pm)
Briefer post today, about a couple of random things.

First, the girl in my Italian class, who did an exercise out of the book (Write eight questions that will help you get to know another person. Team up with a partner and take turns answering each others' questions or the like). Only thing is, she raised her hand in class and said, "Wait, are we supposed to write these in Italian? I wrote them in English." *facepalm* It was doubly hilarious because the whole class, including the professor just laughed. Seriously?

Today I made an attempt to be dressy and fashionable and got mixed results. Ankle boots, black tights with large polka dots, and a swishy purple dress. I felt damn pretty, but throughout the whole morning I only got creepy stares from older men. Then after that, I got several comments, all from lesbians. It was just kind of a bizarre juxtaposition. It was nice though, because the following the movie and during my conversation with Catherine, I got several compliments on my awesome tights. And two comments of "Where are you going (all dressed up)?" from my roommate and suitemate. I'm not going anywhere, I just like to feel pretty sometimes.

So, realizing I haven't really talked about Catherine (I think...), let me elaborate. She was assigned to be my LGBT mentor, and is an out lesbian and professor of art history in the honors department. She's awesome and eccentric and pretty easy to talk to. We chatted for a little over an hour this morning, first about how classes were going, then the extra curricular stuff I've been getting into, then about where I could go shopping, then about movies and Christian Bale, then about how Interview with a Vampire is (apparently, in her words- and I guess in mine, since I couldn't get through it) one of Anne Rice's worst novels. She suggested I read the next one in the serious because it's great and eventually at the end of the series Jesus comes into the picture? It was a pretty great conversation, and I feel like we bonded and she says she adores me, which makes me feel glowy inside. Woo! OH! And we also talked about NaNo and the possibility of starting a club next year after I've better found my niche and made some connections. She has friends who've done it, apparently. So yeah. She's kind of my favorite person right now.

On that note, I think I'm going to go to bed. I got laundry done today (!!!) and did some writing, but I feel kind of in a weird mood right now. Thursdays are always weird for me, because I get to that point where I think about how little I could possibly do to get by on Friday before I hit the weekend and so I know there are things I could have done this evening to make classes go more smoothly tomorrow (though I've technically done all the work) and I feel like I didn't get anything super important done in the mean time (started my next [livejournal.com profile] kinky_fantasy  prompt, which I've rewritten several times now). So I just feel kind of... empty. I guess. Probably a sign I need to get some sleep.  Here goes, then. Night all!
( Sep. 15th, 2010 10:53 pm)
I don't think I've ever been this busy. It feels so fantastic, because I'm figuring out how to use all of my time wisely and am able to enjoy extra-curriculars without pulling study sessions at the library from eight at night to two in the morning, like my roommate is. I wonder how much of it is efficiency differences and how much of it is the differences in our schedules/work loads. These past couple of days I swear, we haven't spent more than ten minutes in the room together while both parties were awake. Crazy.

The past several days, catching up on life. )
( Sep. 11th, 2010 08:57 pm)
So, lest you all think that my focus has been entirely on writing for the past several days (I still have one unfilled prompt on the Drabble Fest post, but I'm getting to it!), I thought I'd take a moment to recap the other things I've been up to. Like class.

The philosophy class I switched into after switching out of geology is really, very interesting. It's about the only class I have that I'm taking with other people I know from around the house or through my roommate, so it's unique in that sense and it's also unique in that I really enjoy the assigned readings and find the discussion that they promote to be absolutely fascinating. It is a little intimidating, because every spare comment you choose to offer gets picked apart by the professor, who prompts you to elaborate on every little thing. He's not mean about it, he's just provoking more discussion and making you think, but it's stopped me from speaking up more than once.

Dave Vera (a local poet and Walt Whitman enthusiast) came to speak to my writing class on Friday. That also was fascinating to me. He knew like, everything about the man and really brought his poetry into perspective. So that was pretty awesome.

I was sick earlier this week, but I've mostly recovered. I don't think any of my schoolwork really took a hit, which is good. A lot of people have been sick lately, but then again there's been a lot of partying going on around campus, so I'm sure that doesn't really help those people. As for myself, I've enjoyed a few quiet nights in of reading/writing/tv watching and feel much better. I borrowed Sin City from the library to watch tomorrow.

Today was the Freshman Day of Service and, overall, I found the experience to be disappointing. My group was assigned to go to team up with a society dedicated to cleaning the rivers. We drove 45 minutes away, waited around for a while, then were ferried down the river and dropped off to pick up trash for an hour. Then we drove back. Seriously? I feel like we could have done a lot more for the local community, not just by going to a different service site, but for- I don't know- working the whole day? The plus was that I got a free water bottle (just lost mine yesterday) and Jeff Corwin (the guy from Animal Planet) talked to us for 15 minutes at the opening ceremony. I have to say, though, he wasn't very compelling. A lot of talk about frogs, incredible repetition of the phrase "the power of one" and one side story about his cameraman telling him he (Jeff) couldn't outrun that cheetah and Jeff responding "No, but I can outrun you." That was pretty amusing, at least.

Tomorrow I plan on going to the grocery store (out of milk, but not out of cereal) and doing homework. Good times!
( Aug. 31st, 2010 10:26 pm)
Mostly caught up on reading, not quite caught up on commenting, but I hope you're all doing well and I'm thinking of you even if I don't manage to get on as often! Hoping that next week, or this weekend, I'll be able to sort out some time to start writing, once my schedule has settled down a bit. (Not gonna lie, I wrote a bit of porn this evening, but) Welcome week is all kinds of overwhelming. There's so much stuff going on! I'm having a lot of fun though, meeting nice people and managing to get everything done that I need to.

It's probably weird, but the thing I like most so far is the independance. Not only from my parents, but I don't feel obligated to always have someone by my side. I'm going to lunch on my own, going to class on my own and I'm not feeling awkward about it. I have friends- no one incredibly close yet, but it hasn't even been a week- but it's nice because they're the type I run into and am friendly with, that I can call if I'm feeling lonely and know that they'll make time for me. Or at least, I think they will. In any case, I feel rather optimistic.

Got a flyer about the LGBT Resource Center events going on. They have Tuesday Glee nights at the Marvin Center, and movie nights on occasional Thursdays. The first is a documentary, "Small Town Gay Bar." Guess what it's about!  There are also a bunch of events for National Coming Out Week (did anyone else not know that was actually a thing?) It's October 11-15. Haha, coincidentally enough, parents' weekend is the 15th through the 17th. Coincidence? You decide.

Run down of classes so far goes like this: Italian (which I was super excited for) remains boring and riddled with technological problems. Contemporary Poetry is going to be awesome, and I believe this especially after reading the first chapter of Muriel Rukeyser's Life of Poetry. Tai Chi will be a nice stress relief, if I can stop feeling like the fattest person in the room. Geology will probably be boring: huge class, rambling professor, no real enthusiasm, plus labs that I worry about failing. Still waiting to see how Psych is going to go. Hopefully it will be good, because it's quite an interesting subject. It mainly falls down to the prof, though.
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