( Oct. 12th, 2011 09:15 pm)
Since we last met, I failed a German quiz, got a 103% on an Irish Literature test and totally failed at taking yoga seriously at all. I like, to some degree, the physicality of it, but the spiritual bits are just not my cup of tea. I called my insurance and am going to call the neurologist tomorrow. I spoke with my Shakespeare professor who suggested that if my headaches continue to make it difficult to concentrate that I contact Disability Student Services (DSS). They can approve me for extensions, someone to take notes for me, and more time for exams. I don't feel that I'm quite to that level (I've convinced myself to be functioning, damn it) but that did make me realize:

I am enduring serious, long term, chronic pain. It's unreasonable to expect myself to do as well as I would without this pain. That's just-- too much. I don't know why it's taken this long for me to realize that less than my best is okay, because I'm not at my best.

So in summary, the meeting with my professor was very helpful. She also told me that if I ever need an extension on a paper for her class I could just let her know. She also suggested I talk to the Student Counseling Services. I am, but my therapist moved to Michigan last week and they never called me to schedule me with someone else, so I won't be seeing anyone until next week. : /

I've been feeling a little bit better. Stress and anxiety is coming in bursts, but so are times when I feel like I can sit down and write, enjoy myself and let go. I slept about twelve hours last night (which I sorely needed) and have work from 10pm to midnight today (only time I'm ever taking this shift, to make up for the lack of hours I had last week). Test tomorrow morning. Cross your fingers for me!

ALSO GREAT NEWS: I bought my plane tickets to go see Rae-la around the first of January! I'm so excited! :D :D :D :D
The bad news is as follows: since Saturday my head has felt progressively worse. I went to the doctor on Monday, who laughed at me and said "Well yeah, it hurts. You hit it." (which was about eight thousand kinds of unhelpful). Regular pain killers have had no effect on the pain and I've been having trouble concentrating. Last night it got so bad that I finally decided (with much cajoling from my mother/Morgan/Becca) that I ought to go to the emergency room just to be sure there wasn't something serious going on.

Cue spending the next five hours in the emergency room waiting, waiting, waiting, getting some stronger drugs and another ct-scan done.The scan came up clear which, on the one hand, is good because it means I don't have bleeding in the brain or any acute trauma. On the other hand it means they don't know why it hurts so badly and the knock to my head could have pushed up the level of my migraine pain for the future.

So I got a prescription for stronger meds (which I haven't dropped off yet, but need to) and a referral to a local neurologist. I skipped three classes this morning (didn't get home from the er until past two am) and emailed those professors. They were all really understanding and now I don't have to stress about my Shakespeare paper (the first draft of which was due today). The professor said I could email it to her on Friday if I was feeling up to it. So that's something good, at least.

In the mean time it just hurts so badly. I'm having a hard time focusing on anything/being productive at all. I slept in until almost noon today and I know I have work I ought to catch up on, but I don't think I have the brainpower. I'm trying to relax though. I know stressing about it will only make things worse.

*hugs everyone*
( Oct. 1st, 2011 05:02 pm)
Following yesterday's bad news several things happened.

I lost the very cute semi-claddagh style ring my mother bought for me. I lost the cable to charge my e-reader. I discovered I have about 250 pages of reading to do for next week. I discovered that my Sociocultural Anthropology textbook was $30 for a reason-- that reason being that it's missing a bunch of pages due to what looks like a printing/binding error.

My plans for grocery shopping with Morgan were put on hold because he was sick this morning. It's raining. It's cold. I haven't been sleeping well.

While I was getting out bowls for lunch I managed to nail myself in the temple with the edge of the cabinet door and have been dizzy/in pain for the past five or so hours. I got worried enough to call my mother the Officially Registered nurse and she said I was probably okay, but need someone to keep an eye on me for a bit and that I should put ice on it. All of my ice cubes are fish or flower shaped and do not make for good packages to put on one's head. I am so very tired.

Did I mention my head hurts? At least during this instance I know why.
( Aug. 30th, 2011 12:01 am)
I'm moved in. My dorm is pretty unpacked and decorated. I've been really busy organizing and running my life. My head hurts. My cheek hurts even more today than normal, and I have like... six bruises on my shins. Plus the one in the back of my hand. Generally, though, things are going well.

First day of classes was today. My German professor is really enthusiastic and engaging, which is fabulous. That was the only class I was seriously worried about. Biological Anthropology was considerably less engaging and interesting, but I have several friends in there. The Shakespeare professor seems very funny and interesting. So good things all around on that front.

In return for my bunch of Doctor Who books [livejournal.com profile] maderr sent me a box. I was not expecting much at all (and had kind of sort of forgotten about our exchange) so you can imagine my surprise and immense glee to open a package with a wonderful new cookbook, a book of celtic poetry, two post cards, a very cute mug, and a card. Practically made my day! Thank's so much [livejournal.com profile] maderr, I really appreciate such thoughtful gifts. :)

On a similar note, I spent much of the evening cooking. Morgan and I went grocery shopping so that I could try out a bunch of the recipes I put in my new cookbook. The best success by far was the strawberry muffin recipe that [livejournal.com profile] theotherdibbler sent me! They're SO wonderfully delicious. I only made half a batch, but I'm going to make a load more. Thank goodness for frozen strawberries so that I don't have to worry about them going bad before I make some more. :D I also tried the zuccini cake recipe, but- well. I halved it, and then I realized that I bought yellow squash instead of zucchini. I made it anyway and er. It's edible. Not fabulous or anything. Morgan said it was like water in bread form. Kind of tasteless, but definitely solid. Next time I'll do better, haha.

The other things I made were much more successful (everything here was halved, and much of it saved for leftovers). I made a sort of breakfast-pizza quiche with bacon, cheese and tomatoe sauce. That turned out pretty well. The last recipe I tried was for little mushroom and leek pot pies. I didn't have leeks, so it was just mushrooms, but it was very very good. I think I'll make some more and experiment with the filling. I made two individual serving size cups and have one left for tomorrow. Mmm, good.

I also have a consultation with a psychologist for next Friday. So in summary: thank you to all of my good friends for your gifts and your support. I'm chugging along and doing pretty well all things considered.
( Aug. 24th, 2011 11:18 pm)
Procedure did not go well. It was a shot to a different nerve center somewhere behind my nose, above my pallate, but in the middle of things the doctor knicked something causing severe pain down the left side of my jaw and causing my cheek to sweel up to epic proportions. He had to abort, so the resulting pain and swelling can't even be said to have been worth it for the headache relief. My head still hurts. My face is swollen. I can't properly close my jaw to chew.

Oddly, I'm taking it better than I expected. I'm frustrated and I'm mad, but at the same time I'm resigned. I'm not going back to that doctor (even though what happened could have happened to anyone, he didn't use any anesthesia and he was bad at communicating) and the swelling should go down in a few days. I have a job interview on Friday (!!!) and I'm hoping I'll look most of the way normal by then, minus a bit a bruising.

I think I've just decided my headaches will go away when I'm back in DC. If they don't, I'll have to find some way to deal, but I just can't keep hoping for a miracle cure/procedure/drug. That hasn't worked so far.

Off to bed now. Bus ride all day tomorrow and then I'm back at school and pumped for that.
( Aug. 9th, 2011 07:49 pm)
I had the procedure today-- that is, the occipital nerve block. Basically two shots to the back of the neck and a bunch of numbing stuff. The entire back of my head and neck were numb immediately after. Now everything just kind of hurts.

Is this going to be like when I took migraine pills and on the list of side-effects they had 'headache'? Do not want. Hoping to feel better tomorrow morning, after a night's rest.

In other news I've been listening to Cabin Pressure (the radio series, in which Benedict Cumberbatch plays) on youtube. Very funny.




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